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Release Co-Dependency - Create Sustainable Relationships

Bleeding Hearts and Flowers!

Why is it that despite endless health education, heart disease remains one of the most common physical causes of death? The Government may tell us to 'look after our heart', but from a vibrational medicine perspective, it isn't just about taking regular exercise and cutting down on saturated fats, it's about looking after the main emotional balancer of our body.

Viewed holistically, we need to look after our heart not only physically but emotionally, mentally and spiritually too, as our heart has to deal with disturbances and imbalances at all these levels. Heart disease is simply the final physical outcome of neglecting all levels of reality which affect our heart. The European countries with the lowest rates of heart disease are Spain, Italy and France; countries we make fun of for their extroversion, emotional dramas and easy tears. Meanwhile in the UK we apply more starch to our upper lip and our arteries continue to harden. One of the unfortunate side effects of us bottling up our feelings so that we're walking around like emotional pickle jars, is that when the lid comes off, the intensity of our feelings can be absolutely overwhelming, both to ourselves and to those we love: 'That went well then' we think as we stomp out to the pub leaving our girlfriend a mascara-soaked, tissue-sodden heap on the sofa. So next time she asks 'But what do you really think' the chances of an honest answer are even more remote and the lid gets screwed on even tighter with the weight of our fear of the potentially destructive force of letting go.

Wounds and Myths

Two of the main problems in relationship tend to be the 'bottling it up' scenario, so that when our partner is late picking us up from the station they become the scapegoat for everyone who just wasn't there when you needed them, from the hospital incubator and school gates onwards.

The second unhelpful factor is the mythical expectations we're encouraged to have of our intimate relationships. Watch films, read books (especially the ones we read to our children), listen to music and you'd be forgiven for thinking that falling in love could be the cure for everything from warts to global warming. But whilst we can often consign the tooth fairy and Santa Claus to our childhood, romantic illusions can still seduce some of us into disastrous actions as long as we draw breath.

So what helps?

Well, safely taking the lid of our pickle jar is a good start. A supportive environment which allows us to unpack and release the past is a wonderful investment. Then learning some tools and techniques to allow us to stay in regular touch with our feelings, to prevent them bottling up again, is a great next step. Whilst we're learning this new behaviour, a regular check-in with our Personal Emotional Health Trainer (a.k.a. a good holistic therapist) is also very helpful until we get used to jogging through our emotional landscape as easily as we would our local park - knowing there are no dodgy strangers from our past waiting to ambush us!

How Bleeding Heart Helps

Does any of this sound familiar? Then a fabulous support is Bleeding Heart. Its function is obvious by its name, shape, colour and the way it grows. The heart-shaped flowers hang together, which is what the word co-dependent originally means. So this is a great remedy for all of us prone to possessiveness, over-attachment and co-dependence. As you might imagine from the picture, it's also the 'Heartbreak Essence' - a wonderful balm when our heart is wounded from the death of someone dear or the break up of a relationship.

It's also for those of us whose hearts are too scarred to love freely because it wasn't allowed to 'bleed' when it needed to. Maybe when we were wounded in the past it wasn't safe, it wasn't allowed, it wasn't considered 'appropriate' or was seen as weak, maybe it was even seen as a betrayal. The reason isn't important - as we take the essence the heartache eases, the old sorrow releases and we're able to open fully to receive love again.

I'm OK - You're not OK

Bleeding Heart is useful in any situation where we feel trapped and helpless, where we feel that if only our partner/friend/boss/colleague would change, then it would all be OK. The truth is we're trapped in old emotional patterns and Bleeding Heart helps us step back objectively from those intense past feelings so that we can see that the ONLY person who can change the way they feel, act and react is us. Oh - and yes, on a physical level it's a great remedy for your heart - but I guess you've worked that out by now!

On Relationship...

'But let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.' Khalil Gibran

Personal Attunement Blends

Individual flower and crystal essences can also be mixed into a blend for you. If you need guidance or you'd like a personal channeled blend made up, Nikki can attune for the essences most appropriate for your growth and healing.

Essence Blend Suggestions

If these themes are of interest, you may also consider Karmic Relationships or Healing Heartbreak or Closeness and Friendship

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